Twas the Night Before Suicide

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This was a message that was given to the police after they found the Santa Fe
cult members dead, and the 40th cult member alive:

Twas the night before departure, and all through the house.
Not a cultist was working, not a click of a mouse!

When down on the first floor, I heard such a clatter.
I listened real hard to see whats the matter.

I threw on my shroud and tied my Nikes (TM) real tight.
I ran down the stairs; I almost took flight!

When, what to my astonished eyes did appear, but
Brother Frank, carrying vodka, looking very queer.

I looked on the table top and saw a strange powder.
They were mixing it in pudding, but it looked like clam chowder.

They ate all the pudding and washed it down with the liquor.
They knew if they did, they would leave, that much quicker.

They all laid on the floor with a ziplock (TM) bag on each head.
They were waiting to go, but they ended up dead.

As I hid in the closet, I saw a bright light.
The aliens were here, but I was stiffened with fright.

I peeked out the closet, and indeed, they were here.
But, they saw 39 dead cultists and they ran off in fear!

They beamed back to the space ship, and took off into space.
They were heading for the comet, as if it were a race.

I went to my Brothers of which whom were all dead.
I said good-bye to Brother Frank, Sister Sara, and my Brother Fred.

I pulled the bags off of most of the clan.
I threw them away in the rear garbage can.

Luckily, I am the only one left to survive,
and I'm glad because the aliens wanted me alive!