Redskins 1999-2000 schedule
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>>>>Joke Category -- Sports / -- / Rating -- PG 

Sept. 12  Bethesda High School
Sept. 19  Cub Scout Troop #101
Sept. 26  The Maryland Blind Academy
Oct.  03  Spanish American War Vets
Oct.  10  Crippled Children's Home
Oct.  17  Fairfax Home for Wayward Girls
Oct.  24  Girl Scout Troop #459
Oct.  31  D.C. VD Clinic
Nov.   7  Arlington Boys' Choir
Nov.  14  Korean War Amputees Post #43
Nov.  21  V.A. Hospital Polio Patients Special Monday Night
          Game(to be televised)
Dec.   8  101 Dalmatians

Rule changes from last year:

*  When playing the Blind Academy, the Redskins must not hide
    the ball under their jerseys.
*  When playing the Girl Scouts, the Redskins must not eat their
    cookies.
*  When playing the Korean War Amputees, the Redskins must
    not file any protests about players with one leg being hard to tackle.
*  When playing the Polio Patients, the Redskins must not disconnect
    the leg braces.

Rules the same as last year:
*  A touchdown - this is when the ball is carried into the opponent's end
    zone; for all you Redskin fans who have never seen one, it's still 
worth
    21 points.
*  The Redskins will be allowed 27 men on the field at all times.
*  The Redskins will be allowed to substitute with band members at any
    time during the game.
*  The Redskins will be allowed 20 timeouts per half.
*  The Redskins will be awarded a first down with each gain of three
    yards or more.

Name Change:
*  The Washington Redskins' name will be changed to the Washington
    Tampons, as they are good for only one period and they don't have
    a second string.

Coaching Change:
*  Norv Turner will be replaced by Monica Lewisnky as coach. She will
probably blow a few, but at least she won't choke on the big ones.