----------
Q: What did Monica Lewinski say when asked how her new boyfriend
compares to
Bill Clinton? 

A: Close but no cigar

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As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary
request
over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President, would you please return the
stewardess
to the upright position and prepare to land?" 

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Q: What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?

A: A screwdriver turns in screws, Clinton screws interns!

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Q: Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird?

A: The spread eagle. 

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A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?"

Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was on her knees."

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Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am?

A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady.

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The Spelling Bee...Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a
spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of
the
three who knew that 'harass' was one word. 

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Q: How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, they are too busy screwing the President.

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When women in Washington D.C. were asked if they would have sex with the
President, 86% said "Not again." 

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Clinton's team of advisors has offered the following defense:

Clinton NEVER told Lewinsky to lie in deposition! He told her to lie in
THIS
position....!!! 

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Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.

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Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?

A: When Hillary is out of town.

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Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?

A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

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Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?

A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.